• Alvi

Sometimes Being A Mom Can Be Hard AF!!

I have been going back and forth on whether or not to write about this. The past couple of weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. I’m not sure if it has been the quarantine or the fact that my 18-month old has been starting those terrible 2’s early. With my other two, my patience was a little better, plus my energy level was very high. With Six, I’m always tired, my tolerance is low, and my hormones are all over the place. I know my hormones levels being crazy can add to a lot of stress for me, especially having an active 18-month old. Trying to juggle the household, the kids, my businesses, and just time to myself has been a great deal of a challenges for me. I know we look at other moms that seem to be superwomen all the time and think how does she do it? Then I thought about it and said with strength probably, and maybe she’s going through the motions like me at times. Hell, there are times when I’m superwomen doing everything for everyone in the house, but right now isn’t that time. Sometimes I would like to just take a glass of wine in a quiet place with no kids pulling me in three directions full of questions and needs. I know all moms have had that moment; this is just my time to have that.

I fight with myself all the time for feeling this way at times because I’m a mom, and I’m supposed to be the mom that my kids need. It’s not their fault of my emotions, and I should have that under control, but I’m only human to have these feelings. Sometimes I look at older women who have kids and think well if she can do it, so can I. I’m only 39, and that’s still young. I should have the patience I have had with my other two children. I have also heard the last child always seems to get away with more than your older children, and this is happening. My boyfriend says I’m too soft, but so what, whatever gets them through. I do see him getting his way with his tantrums, but I know his dad is there to put the discipline. It won’t be me.

I get afraid of how people may judge me, or should I say other moms judge me, but I realize I could be helping another mom out there that feels the same way. If I don’t tell my whole truth, I can help another mom out. I have a writing responsibility to be as honest and transparent as I can be. I know this emotional rollercoaster will pass because I go to therapy to help out plus going to the doctor to understand if I’m in the pre-menopausal state. I feel getting help from a professional can and will help. I’m an advocate for mental support, it works. Especially with everything I have going on, the kids, the house, my man, and my businesses having an outside outlet can help, and since we are quarantine, being able to work out lately has worked for me. Having that glass of wine in my room while my man is downstairs with the kids has helped as well. Sometimes just crying and letting those emotions out and getting a hug from my boyfriend has helped as well. Shout out to my boyfriend for his help, he is the best always for helping with the kids more that he’s at home. Love you baby!

All in all, its ok to feel the way you feel and don’t let anyone make you feel inadequate as a mom. I will keep you all updated. Until Next Time!!

Talk To You Soon!!

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