• Alvi

Reverse Roles:Single Mom to A Staying at Home Mom

This is a subject that had me thinking a lot about it. I was sitting with my better half talking about a show that was on, and it brought up the subject of reverse roles. The couples ended up having reversed roles after a wife was the sole provider, and the husband stayed at home. After the couple adopted, the wife ended up staying home and quit her job, and the husband was the sole provider. The wife ended up having a hard time adjusting to the reversal roles, and they ended up separating for a while. I understood how she felt in some ways because even though she was married, she was making her own money and providing for her family, she loved her work in every aspect. Her husband, in the beginning, didn’t mind the change, and then he started to resent staying at home and wanted to get back out there in the workforce. Once both were working, it just didn’t work out for their family at that particular moment. Which is said for a lot of families.

My man started talking about how we have reversed roles in our aspects. I have been a single mother since my daughter was born and having the perfect relationship has been challenging. Now that I’m in a great relationship, things are quite different. After getting pregnant and giving birth, we moved to another state away from family and friends. I have worked and taken care of mines for as long as I had mines, and now, I have to get used to someone else taking care of my children and me. My boyfriend said I was the woman who was having a hard time staying at home and having her husband taking care of the financials. I thought about it and felt offended, and I started thinking I am sort of like her. I have taken care of my children and me forever and letting someone else take care of me, and my children have been difficult. As women, we pray for a man to come and be the head of the household, and when it comes to the past, it scares us, and sometimes we reject that idea, and for some, they lose that man, but if their man is like mines, he sticks in there. We are a team!

I know we as women always say we want a provider in our men and even have been taught that’s what a man is supposed to do, but in a lot of women cases that have been the sole provider, it may be harder to let him take on that role. I know I’m not the only one who has a problem at times. Don’t get me wrong I’m happy I have a man who has stepped up and taken on the financial responsibility of us all, but it still makes me feel a certain way when I now budget all our other bills. I think it’s just the fact that hell I’m used to paying for my bills, and when we first moved to Georgia I was still getting maternity leave, and then I was able to collect unemployment, and for the past two months, I haven’t had any money on my end coming in. I don’t know why it has been hard for me just to let things be. I guess I feel if I’m not contributing financially in my way, even if it is paying my bills, I’m a burden financially. Now, these are my feelings that I’m speaking of. Frank always tells me it’s ok. That’s what he supposed to do for our family. I’m taking care of home life, and he’s taking care of us financially. It’s going to take some time, but I’m used to it every day. I’m just happy I have been blessed with him in my life. He pushes and encourages me to go for my dreams no matter how big or small they are. God placed him in mine and my children’s life for a reason. Ladies, if you are having the same issue I’m having, it’s ok to be scared, but don’t let that push your man away. Communicate and express how you’re feeling, and everything else will work itself out, trust me. It’s ok to allow the man to take care of you sometimes. I know it can be hard since you’re used to doing it all by yourself, but God wouldn’t have put that man in your life if He didn’t think he couldn’t take on the responsibility. You have to have faith, and everything will work out at the end of the tunnel. Until till Next Time!

Talk to You Soon!!

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