Postpartum Depression: Anxiety, Stressed, Emotional, and Etc.
Many women suffer from postpartum depression after having their baby. It should be taken very seriously and treated properly. I know a few women who have suffered through this, including myself. I have been dealing with this for a while now and have not been taking care of myself as I should be. I have been in denial and to myself and think I can handle this by myself without really explaining this to my partner. At first, I thought I was overwhelmed and thought it was me being a new mom and trying to get adjusted to the changes since I hadn’t had a baby in 11 years. I thought I was getting better, but once we moved to Atlanta my emotions became all over the place. My boyfriend would ask me if anything is wrong and I would say I’m fine. He knew something was wrong because my attitude had changed, I was moody, withdrawal from the house, crying all the time, and much more. I kept telling myself I will be fine, I just have to wait until Christmas break when I go back home. Well, I went home and still didn’t fill like myself. My friend had a party and I did not even enjoy myself. I’m used to being the turn-up queen if you would say, but I didn’t dance and let loose like usual. I told myself I was tired and had to go home to the baby, but deep down inside I knew the real reason. It is even hard to write this post because I don’t want people to judge me, but this post can help another mother out in realizing what’s the cause of her emotions, then this post has done its job.
I returned home from the Christmas holiday to spend New Year Eve with my boyfriend, but days after getting home I still felt very depressed. The day after New Year I took my boyfriend to work and came home to make a bottle for my son and I prayed to GOD to make me better, I just cried and cried. I could not stop crying while I was praying, I needed something to get me out of my funk and help me feel better. The desire to workout, get dress, be happy, get my work done, and etc was depleting and I had to do something about it. I had to talk to someone. I called my best friend and told her what was happening and she told me to talk to my boyfriend. I picked him up and I just snapped at him for no reason. He asked what was wrong and I explained to him how I have been feeling. He told to get away and go to California to get my mind clear. See that’s the type of man he is. Always looking out for me as long as I tell him what the problem is. I told him about being at home with the baby 24/7 and having no adult conversations throughout the day, has me in a state of all types of emotions. He’s at work all day and night most times and I just at home taking care of the kids, cleaning, and doing other things in the house. My boyfriend gets off late and is tired, so I don't want to talk about my emotions all the time. He asks me all the time am I doing well and most of the time I lie. He has a lot on his plate with him being the only one working, I don't want him to have to worry about my well being too, but this is the wrong appraoch to take. I have to be open and let him know. He is amazing and helps out with our kids, but the one on one time we are not getting. So all of this has taken a toll on my mental and I just take it one day at a time to get better. I have thought about going back to therapy to talk to someone about all of this in a more professional realm and my boyfriend thinks this is a good idea. He also told me to take a day when he is off for just me to write and workout and he will take care of the kids and household for me. All I had to do was talk to him and let him know what's wrong. For now, I will enjoy my weekend away to get rebooted and rejuvenated. When I come back home, I will start enjoying my time to myseIf when he is off and look for a therapist in my area. I will keep you all updated on my progress. One last thing ladies, this happens to a lot of mother’s and this doesn’t make you a bad mom or a bad person. This is just something you are going through and it does not define you. Just get the help you need, to get back to being 100% yourself again. Until Next Time!!
Talk To You Soon!!