Our Blended Family
There are lots of couples who have blended families. Some have had good experiences and others have had not so good experiences. I remember looking on Facebook and tuning into Jada Pinkett Smith show Red Table, she explained the difficulties at first she was having and later how both women had to make things work for the all the children. I also remember reading all the good things about the late Kim Porter and how she treated Diddy’s other kids as her own. Then I have friends who had not so great experiences with their partner’s children and I have some friends who experiences are wonderful. That got me to thinking about the little-blended family we have now. Frank has two boys 10 and 11, I have a girl and a boy 11 and 20, and we have baby Frank together. We have a tribe of kids as you can see. All the boys stay with us now in Georgia, but my daughter stayed in Los Angeles.
I’m only a month in with living together and it has been an experience I would have to say. I have taken Frank’s boys without him before, to movies, to eat, and just to chill at the house, but living with them is much more different. I have taken advice from friends who went through this same situation and have been trying to find my own way. I don’t want to overstep my boundaries because I’m not their mother, but they do live in my house now and I have to set some discipline and rules for them to abide by. I have had some challenges with listening and doing as they are told, but who doesn’t have those problems with children. Hell, I had those problems with my own daughter when she was growing up, it just takes some time and everyone adjusting to the new living situation we have now. I do believe with time, it will get easier and better.
Frank is at work, so I’m the stay at home mom that makes sure the boys do their homework, eat, and get to bed on time for school the next morning. Since we are only a month in, I expect the change to be a little rocky at first. The boys are moving to a new home, new rules, etc, so it will take some to get them acclimated to the environment. To be honest, I thought this would be a breeze since I have been in their lives for years, but it is different when you all live together opposed to just seeing them every weekend. Our house rules are different from their mother's house rules, so the adjustment has been bumpy for all of us. Having to tell them something more than once, I’m just not used to that. I tell my own children to do something only once and they know I mean business, but it’s different when trying to discipline or telling someone else’s child something. It’s a tug of war, you question yourself and you want to make sure that you’re being firm, but not overbearing at the same time. They’re not your children, so the disciplining has boundaries. You also need to discuss with the other parent what is the right way to go about things and make sure you are all on the same page when it comes to discipline. Talk to the other parent that’s not in the home to get them on one accord as well, but if that may be to difficult to do, you have to find a solution to get the children to understand the rules you expect of them in your house.
I want the boys to know and feel I will not treat them any different from my own children. They get treated with the same discipline as my son and the same Love as well. Having a blended family can have some difficulties ONLY if YOU allowed it. I know some people who just did not connect with their partner’s children and that put a strain on the relationship and eventually they broke up. I also want to commend Frank on how he has taken my son under his wing and treats him just like he treats his own children. He is honestly the first guy that has been like a father to my both my children. I have had other guys in my life, but my children never bonded with them like they do Frank and that makes me very happy. This whole blended family will take some time, but I know if all parents are on the same page we can raise some amazing children and have a respectable relationship ourselves. Until next Time!!!
Talk To You Soon!!