Some women who have their baby are able to breastfeed right away and then they’re other’s who have trouble with getting breastfeeding down. Breastfeeding was not successful with my last child and my first born I never trued. I knew with pregnancy I wanted to breastfeed my son for up to at least a year. I had a plan and did not want to give formula at all, but if I had to, it would have been the bare minimum. Well, I’m one of those women who is having problems breastfeeding. When Frank was first born the nurses were trying to get me to breastfeed. I was having trouble in the house with him latching on properly and wanted the help of the nurses in the hospital, but they were not any help. My friend who is a nurse came to visit me and helped me out. I thought Frank was latching on properly until the lactation nurse came in on my last day to see how it is going said he was not latching properly. I was very annoyed and pissed off because I asked for help from the nurses and did not get the help I need. Also, the lactation specialist that came into my room the next day after I gave birth was not helpful at all. I was in pain from my surgery and she stated she would come back, but never did. When the second specialist came in when I was about to leave, I was short with her. I felt frustrated because I thought I was doing the right thing, but I was not and I only had an hour before I went home for her to help me with breastfeeding.
I left the hospital unsure of myself but determined to breastfeed and make this work for my baby and his nutrients he would get. Once I got home Frank seemed to be latching on, but he was still fussy and irritated. I tried every two hours, thinking he was feeding the first night at home. The next morning after feeding him, he was still fussy and just not a happy camper. His dad said I’m going to get some formula because he seems hungry still. He went to the Target, bought the formula, and once he got home, we gave him the formula. He stopped crying and was content. That was very disappointing for me to find out that I was giving him enough to make him full. I still continued to give him breastmilk and formula to satisfy him and make him full. My milk still was not producing as much. I had the lactation shake, pills, water, hot massage on my breast, and still nothing. I went to my friend who is a lactation specialist and I thought he was getting enough milk, but still was not. I continued to do both breastfeed and formula to make him full.
This was not apart of my plan and wanted to breastfeed him for at least a year and that is not happening as of now. It makes me feel unsure of myself as a mother because I cannot give my baby the nutrients he needs. I cried for days. I have questioned myself a lot, but talking to my friends has helped me a lot to get over not being able to give him just all breastmilk. I just take it day by day and try to give him as much breastmilk as possible. Frank is now going on 6 weeks and my milk is slowly drying up, but I like I said I will continue until I cannot anymore. I give myself pep talks and positive affirmations to say that I’m still a giving my baby little nutrients even if it's not as much as I planned on giving him. To the women out there having the same problem as me, it’s ok! You are doing the best you can and that’s all you can do as a mother. Don’t feel bad or blame yourself as I did. It is life and shit happens. I had to realize that I can’t be down on myself anymore and I’m doing the best I can. My baby will still be healthy and grow as he needs. The doctor’s visit has shown that he is on his birthing growth and that’s all I want for him. Ladies just keep doing the best job you can as a mother and the rest will follow. Until Next Time!!
Talk To You Soon!!